Bud or bloom

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
– Anais Nin

A rose in the bud shows some of its color, but its true potential can’t be seen until it opens. It’s only a shadow of what’s to come.
In opening, it faces the risk of being bruised, crushed underfoot, losing some of it’s petals, and having its color fade.
But in opening, it is also able to give fragrance and beauty to an entire room.
It can tell someone, “I love you, I’m sorry, Get well soon, or Thank-you.”
It can brighten someone’s day and make a lasting impact on that person.
It can make a difference without even knowing it has.
A rose is safe in the bud.
It is protected in the bud.
It is comfortable in the bud.
But a rose bud will die eventually, and if it hasn’t opened, its God-given purpose and glory will die with it.
So we all have a choice – to choose the safe, the familiar, the comfortable, or to step out of our comfort zone, reflect our purpose & make a difference.

Mixed emotions

Today is a day of mixed emotions. 
I began the day sorting through some boxes and bags of items (that had been in storage) for a Salvation Army pick-up scheduled later today. As I went through some of my children’s and late husband’s things, memories washed over me – but they were happy memories, and I smiled and was grateful. 
As I carefully folded the sheets and bedding that he had used while in hospice, as I packed up some of his clothes, I remember being so grateful that I had no regrets and was able to be there with him as he took his last breath on earth two years ago.
As I sorted through toys and stuffed animals, I remembered why each had been special at one time to my kids. In a way, It felt like the end of Toy Story 3. I reflected over the past two years and realized I have so many things for which to be grateful. And I smiled.
Today is also a milestone day for me in my business for several reasons. The week had been a very challenging week. But yesterday, I was promoted to the highest permanent compensation level and it showed up online officially today. This month I also qualify for the BMW car bonus and will be with friends this afternoon picking up my BMW. So today is also a great day of celebrating what is possible with family, family, & friends.
I reflected over all of my incredible small business and family plan clients who have trusted me to help them protect their legal and identity-theft needs. I’m blessed weekly by your stories of how the law firm or our licensed investigators have helped you have peace of mind as you navigate some of life’s issues and storms. I smiled and was grateful to have you as part of my life and for allowing me to serve you.
I thought of my LegalShield family and my wonderful team. You encourage me daily and I am so blessed to serve you and help you to achieve your goals and dreams. I want to help you celebrate every small victory until you too also may experience a day like today. My mentors and coaches are the best. And my accountability partners have become some of my best friends. 
So I  smiled, and was grateful.
I thought of my kids who have weathered their own storms and have been overcomers. Our family motto since Bryan was diagnosed became “Finish Strong.” And they have exemplified this as they have pushed through their pain and loss toward what God has for them to do. There have been some bumps in the road as they are writing their own story that will encourage others. But they are pressing on…so I smiled and was grateful.
I thought of my community and church family who have loved on us and supported our family as we walked through our storms. I’m blessed beyond belief with so many incredible friends who touch my life daily. Your hugs and words of encouragement make my life very special and I’m grateful.
I thought of what it possible and how our lives will continue to change in 2014 as we set new goals, grow, and keep moving forward. Again, I smiled and was grateful. 
We go THROUGH things in life so that we may comfort, encourage, and help others who face the same storms. I’m grateful that you all have welcomed us into your lives. As I say often, faith, family, & friends make the difference allowing us to positively impact lives. So thank-you. 🙂

“We have to go through the TEST to get the TIMONY
Through the MESS, to have a MESSAGE
And can choose to be a VICTIM or a VICTOR”

So many questions

I lost a friend this past week. He was my age.
None of us saw it coming. There are so many questions. “Why didn’t we see his level of despair? What could we have done to help “pull him back from the cliff?” What made him feel so hopeless that he saw suicide as the only answer?”  Yes, he took his own life. And we didn’t see it coming.

He was not just an acquaintance. Our kids had grown up together. He had been instrumental in my son’s life during his teenage years. We are all shocked, saddened, during this surreal time. It almost seems like a bad dream, but we are awake. Time momentarily slowed when we heard the news.

So what can we all learn from this? One thing is that we need to be more vulnerable to each other and to be a safe place for each other where we can admit we are hurting or struggling. Life is messy. Life hurts. And we need to be able to help encourage, uplift, and walk through challenges with each other. We can only do this when we know what challenges we are facing.

It takes real relationships, not superficial ones. Asking each other how we really feel – and being ok with hearing the truth instead of, “I’m fine.” How many times do we ask each other, “How are you?” and instinctively we answer, “I’m good.” or “Great!” when that may not be the whole truth. I want my friends to know it is ok to be real with me. And know that I will be there for them to help, not judge them for the way they feel or the struggles they face.

Since I also lost a spouse, I’m uniquely equipped to help his wife walk through this unexpected, dark time. Please keep her and their kids in your prayers. I pray that some lasting good comes from this tragedy and that we all learn something important.

After he passed, several of my friends and I talked about being the kind of friend that you could call at 2am in a crisis or just because you are in a dark place and know that it will be ok, we will answer, and listen or pray with and for you. Or if need be, we will get dressed and drive across town to be with you. I want to be that kind of friend for you. I pray that we all have or find someone to be that kind of friend, and that we will invest in others and be that kind of friend. 

Blessings.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”
– Henri Nouwen

Christmas in heaven

Christmas in Heaven

1. We remember Christmas when you were here
We hung the ornaments, shared hugs and tears
We opened the presents and laughed and prayed
Trying to enjoy a special Christmas Day
We knew that soon you’d be leaving
But tried to keep the thought far from our minds
We cherished the time spent together
Clinging to any joy we could find

Spring came and you were gone
We were grateful you were safely home
We were left here to carry on, to finish strong
With the strength you had shown

(Chorus)
Now you celebrate Christmas in Heaven
You get to hear the angels sing
Just like they sang for the shepherds
Who went to worship a baby
But you’re worshipping the King
The lights you see are more beautiful
Than any lights we will ever see
And you get to walk on streets of gold
While we hang gold ribbon on our tree
We look at the stars in the dark sky
You get to see the glory above
You’re spending Christmas in heaven
As you celebrate, we hope you feel our love

2. We went caroling to the neighbors
You sang praises unheard on earth
We read the Christmas story and sang Silent Night
You have eternity to marvel at His worth
We saw the flicker of candlelight
While you see flames surrounding His throne
While you celebrate Christmas in Heaven
We are left here to celebrate alone

(Chorus)
As you enjoy Christmas in Heaven
You get to hear the angels sing
Just like they sang for the shepherds
Who went to worship a baby
But you’re worshipping the King
The lights you see are more beautiful
Than any lights we will ever see
And you get to walk on streets of gold
While we hang gold tinsel on our tree
We look at the stars in the dark sky
You get to see the glory above
You’re spending Christmas in heaven
Still we hope you feel our love

(Bridge)
Though we miss you and your smile
We know you’re where you need to be
But the season makes us wish you were here
Like the fire in the fireplace
The memories still warm us
Please forgive us if we shed a tear

As we hear you say…

(Chorus)
I’m spending Christmas in Heaven
And get to hear the angels sing
Just like they sang for the shepherds
Who went to worship a baby
But I’m worshipping the King
The lights I see are more beautiful
Than any lights you will ever see
And I walk each day on streets of gold
While you hang gold ribbon on our tree
You look at the stars in the dark sky
I get to see all the glory above
I’m spending Christmas in heaven
Someday, we’ll be together again….

So though we really miss you
Please know our hearts are with you…
Enjoy Christmas in Heaven
Knowing one day, we’ll be together again

Lyrics and music by Diane M. Kephart
Copyright 12/21/12

Gratitude

This was shared at church on Sunday. Being grateful is a choice. May we all remember this as we celebrate Thanksgiving this week. Blessings.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/uexaiqlnpkmgp6e/GRATEFULNESS.mov

The watch

“Living is painful. Without pain, reality would escape us and the lessons the world has for us will go untaught.”
― Jamie Magee

One of my favorite movies is “Somewhere in Time” with Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeve. He is able to convince himself he is living in a different time and place…until a penny from the current century harshly shocks him back into reality.

I had one of those reality moments earlier today.

The reconstruction is completed after the water damage earlier this year. Today, workers were moving the boxes and furniture back into the house. They had been in an outside storage mobile shed for months.

As I went through some of the boxes, It was somewhat fun and almost like a treasure hunt to find items that had been packed away and unavailable for months. It was fun until reality hit full force. And I caught my breath.

Like Christopher Reeve’s character, I’d been doing well moving on in the 18 months since my late husband passed from cancer. But today, when I lifted a photo and piece of paper from the box through which I was sorting, there it was…

His watch. 

It was still keeping time even though it had been a long time since being worn. When I lifted it, the steel band made the same sound I had heard so many mornings when he lifted it from the night stand to put it on. Just as in the movie, memories came flooding back as reality hit me squarely in the face. 

I know every day that he is gone and that I’m alone. But today it was a little more painful than usual. The next item was his wallet with the family photos still there where I had seen them every time he opened it. Ouch.

The blessing today was that immediately after this happened, I went to a scheduled mastermind luncheon with wonderful women entrepreneurs. They are dear friends and balm to my soul. I’m so grateful for Faith. Family. Friends.

We will all face pain and loss as we go through life. We will all move on. But on the days when reality slaps you in the face and stings, I pray you also have friends who care.

And that you can be that friend for someone else.

Blessings.

Hidden pain

“Give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he or she sees all day.”
– Shannon Kephart

She was young, smart, beautiful, professional, happily married and had what most would consider a great career. Looking from the outside, you would think she had it all together and that her life was great.

But her gorgeous smile and bright blue eyes didn’t show the pain she was feeling inside. It was a difficult time for her personally, but she didn’t SHOW it.

Sitting down with her over coffee, I asked how she was. And the truth came out. She was hurting, needed a friend, and greatly needed encouragement – and someone ready and willing to really listen.

If I asked you to think of someone you know who could use an encouraging word or a hug, I’m sure you could come up with several names.

But I wonder how many of those names would include people like my friend?

It’s easy to see those who often share their challenges, daily struggles and hurts as those who need to be uplifted. They walk around sad, with a cloud seemingly following them. 

It’s also easy to overlook those who may actually need positive words, caring hugs, and your smile even more – but don’t outwardly show or express their hidden pain. They may be some of the kindest, most helpful and most positive people you know, who seem to have it all together. But they are crying inside.

By making an effort to encourage everyone I meet, hopefully, I will also be able to catch those who secretly need it the most, but don’t ask for it.

Think of those who immediately and easily come to mind. Then think of those you consider least in need of encouragement – they are probably the ones who crave it the most, but receive it the least. 

Reach out to them and see the unexpected blessings you will receive.
You will be positively impacted even more than they are.

Bitter or better

“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart – one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.”
― Marvin J. Ashton

When someone we trust hurts us deeply, we have a choice to make.
And it is a choice.
We can choose to respond with grace. This choice allows us to continue to believe the best about the person, and to give him or her the benefit of the doubt that what was said or done was not done with the intention of causing us pain. It requires living with an attitude of forgiveness and gratitude for when we also receive grace. This choice preserves the friendship – even if through our tears.

Our other choice is to react negatively, believing that the intent was to hurt us and to destroy the relationship. This requires thinking the worst about the other person. The second choice may be our initial response and may be easier, but doesn’t make it the right one. This choice makes us focus on the negative and can derail us from our purpose and goals.

We can choose to let our pain make us more compassionate to others and more aware of how our words and actions may affect other people. We can choose for it to make us better instead of bitter.
Again, It is a choice.

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
― Nelson Mandela

Blessings and buzzing bees

This week I got to experience several very-moving events. 

A friend of mine owns a collision restoration company. Each year, they accept nominations of needy families for the “Recycle My Ride” program. In partnership with an insurance company, they take donated cars, restore them, then present them to selected families who need reliable transportation to get to medical appointments, work, etc. They received more than 400 nominations this year for the selection committee to review.

There was not a dry eye in the place when they announced the three families receiving vehicles and then drove them up in the parking lot and presented them the keys. The gratitude and joy the families displayed was so heartfelt and sincere. It showed what companies working together to impact lives can do.

Then last night, I attended the Youth On Their Own annual fundraising dinner and auction. The stories of teens facing homelessness yet through YOTO being able to graduate high school and receive college scholarships are so inspiring. A former YOTO client who went through the program 20 years ago and is successful in business, presented YOTO with a $250k donation this year. Hearing first-hand from students whose lives were forever changed touched the hearts of everyone there. Very moving.

Also had a heart-palpitating moving experience of another kind this week. 

Have you ever planned to do something at a certain time and had your plans change unexpectedly through circumstances completely beyond your control?  This is where the buzzing bees come into my post.

Earlier this week, I had “planned” to run home to let the dogs out before picking up my daughter after school to go together to evening events.  I had “planned” to enjoy a pre-concert “Meet and Greet” with the band For King and Country. But buzzing bees quickly changed our plans.

I pulled up in front of our house to park and let the dogs out, but saw a huge swarm of bees above the carport, in the tree in the front yard, like a buzzing cloud and they weren’t going anywhere. They were just circling in a big swarm.

Needless to say, I didn’t get out of the car and the dogs had to wait to go outside.

I’m so grateful for several things. First, that I saw the bees in daylight instead of arriving home to a very nasty and potentially dangerous surprise at night.
Secondly, we often leave the dogs outside for a few hours during the day. There were several reports of dogs being killed by bee attacks this week. So glad our dogs were not part of another tragic news story.  

And third, when I first got out of the Air Force, I sold yellow-pages advertising and one of my clients was a bee-removal specialist. His number was still in my phone. So made one call, the bees were removed in several hours, I kept my daughter and myself away from home until we received the “all clear” phone call. And I still made it to the regular part of the concert on time. The bee specialist said the swarm was looking for a place to build a hive. Glad they are no longer unwelcome guests on our property. Whew!

This week I will be able to bless a formerly-homeless veteran with Bryan’s bicycle. Can think of no better recipient than one who has served our country, needs a hand up, and a way to get to work each day. Know Bryan would agree and would be pleased.

Hope your week is uneventful in the buzzing bees kind of way and has several things touch your heart in an inspiring way. May you find blessings each day to fill you with gratitude and maybe also find a way to help someone in need.
Blessings.

Equal or greater benefit

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”
Napoleon Hill

It’s always “fun” when you discover a home repair challenge on a holiday weekend.  And this past weekend saw us doing exactly that.

It’s Easter. We are ready to leave for the worship service when we discover that the back bedroom carpet is wet. Squishy like jumping in puddles wet. The pile of laundry on the floor is wet. It feels like it just came out of the washing machine ready for the dryer. But it hasn’t been washed. There was a mystery for us to solve.

We had a choice: we could deal with it immediately and miss the Easter service and planned time with family for lunch or continue with our plans and deal with it later. We chose the latter. We enjoyed a wonderful Resurrection Celebration and family time.

When we got back home late in the afternoon, my daughter and I donned gloves and started moving things that were soaked out of the bedroom. We bought drop cloths, put them down on the carport, and relocated dry things to dry ground and wet things to a separate pile on the carport.

We initially thought the tub or shower had leaked since it is on the other side of the bedroom closet. But we discovered that there was also standing water on the bathroom floor. The bathroom that connects to the master bedroom.
It was obviously going to be a much bigger job and clean-up than we had imagined.  A plumber would be out to determine the cause and severity of the leak.

(A little background: the bedroom and bathroom had not been regularly used for years. Once my husband was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, we got rid of the living-room sofa and replaced it with an adjustable memory-foam bed for him. So he stayed out in the center of the family activity until he passed away.  I rolled out a mat on the floor each evening next to the bed to be there for him.)

So what was the seed of equal or greater benefit in all of this? I posted on Facebook that I couldn’t wait to find out. And I meant it.

I had been planning to find time to sort through my late husband’s clothing, through the kids’ outgrown clothing, and through clothing I was no longer needing. Had been “planning” to get to it, but it hadn’t happened. The clothing just waited in the back bedroom. 

Since this water damage happened, it forced me to go through a lot of the clothing. A friend of mine, who runs a ministry helping disadvantaged women get back into the workforce, came by yesterday and was able to select many professional outfits from the piles moved to the carport to avoid water damage. Needy ladies will be blessed by the clothing, shoes, and accessories.

The plumbing repair could have been a very expensive situation. Instead, it was a quick fix that cost less than $100. (And the wonderful, professional plumber was a Buckeye fan!)

I had been “planning” to get rid of our queen bed since I no longer need a bed that large. The restoration guys moved the queen bed frame, mattress, and box springs out of the bedroom for me. Habitat for Humanity will be picking it up this week to sell at their store that funds housing for local families. And they had a queen headboard that had been donated with no matching queen bed to display it. Now they will have one.

One benefit of moving every two years when you are in the military is that it forces you to purge things you haven’t used or no longer need each time you move. We have now lived in the same city and home for 20 years. I have no idea what they found under the bed and probably don’t want to know. A friend said “really big dust bunnies.” One more to-do list item I no longer have to find time to do. 

We have great insurance. They already approved the claim. This is a huge blessing. Once I paid the deductible, my part was over. They now deal directly with the damage restoration company.

Since they are completely packing out two rooms of the house to get rid of the mold, water damage, and remove the carpet, etc., it is like moving without leaving home. This gives me the opportunity to go through things left in my son’s room when he left for college, as well as everything else in my bedroom. 
When the repairs are completed and we move the extra-long twin bed back into my room, there will be extra space that wasn’t there before. It will allow for new decor, new colors, and a new beginning.

Yes, in every adversity, you can find the positive IF you look for it.  The same is true of the negative. It’s all in the attitude. So here’s to “eating the elephant one bite at a time” as we work through this for the next couple of months. 
Hope you can find joy in the chaos you face and in the midst of challenges when they come.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
(Rom. 8:28)